Islam and the Non-Muslim Wife

Catherine Ipcizade (5617) 20 Jul 2006 09:18 AM

Good article, Misty. I'm Christian and my husband is Muslim. The reason it works is that neither of us practices strictly. Yes, we both have our faith, our beliefs, our foundations though. That's not to say we haven't had a few problems over the years--when I innocently put up a small nativity set during Christmas and he equated it to decorating the house with religious pictures. My husband is from Turkey, and, although he's muslim, he's a supporter of Ataturk, the man who secularized Turkey. So he disagrees with covering women (unless it is their choice of course), etc. It's interesting to see the differences. I enjoy your articles and appreciate your insights. I do wish we could bring more cultural Turkish things into our home and celebrate Muslim holidays as well, as we celebrate my Christian ones.

Melissa J (13710) 17 Aug 2006 11:22 PM

So interesting. In the Bible it talks of not being unequally joined together. It's to avoid issues like you've named in the marriage. Now you got me very curious how lovemaking is different .

A Pepper (60) 07 Sep 2006 04:57 PM

I was so glad to find your blog. I am in a relationship right now with a Muslim man, and I am not religious. I mean, I have my own views and have been studying Buddhism but I can't say I am a Buddhist. I actually broke up with my boyfriend because I didn't think it could work. I don't want Muslim kids, and I am not changing my mind. He came after a few weeks and told me he loved me and having me in his life is more important than him having Muslim kids. It would be so nice to be together, and he is such a great person. BUT I don't want him to give up who he is to be with me. After reading what you wrote uit sounds like it is completly against his religion for him to marry me. I guess we just have alot of talking to do. I told him to go talk to his friends, talk to a Muslim advisor (I don't know what to call them) and he said he would but he makes his own decisions and this is his decision. He really isn't religious either. He drinks, gambles, has premarital sex. He doesn't go to mosque. The only thing I have seen him passionate about is not eating pork. He doesn't care if I do. I have men friends, he doesn't care. We really need to talk alot about this.....

Misty (981) 07 Sep 2006 05:41 PM

eidasevol, I'm glad you found it, too! Hopefully it will be a jumping off point for some quality conversation. Yes, technically it IS against his religion to marry you. Of course, I don't know him and I can't speak for his faith. BUT, some people make decisions based on the heart, and later their mind regrets it. I would hate for either of you to end up in that situation. And, as I mentioned, some men become more religious after marriage and kids. When that happens upexpectantly, it is a rude awakening for everyone involved. Whatever you decide, make sure you are both going in with open eyes. Best of luck.

redhorizon (6) 11 Nov 2006 11:30 PM

I was googling around this evening and came across this article. As a Muslim woman, I must admit, I'm a bit offended. First of all, where in the Quran does it say that only MEN can marry "People of the Book"? Oh, it doesn't! Second of all, why is it Ok for a Muslim man to date a non-muslim girl, have sex with her, enjoy her company and her mind, perhaps tell her he loves her and even propose to her, and then turn around and say, now, if you love me, you're going to have to change! THAT is the type of person you want to run from. That type of person is called a hypocrite. Why would someone who fell in love with you tell you to change the things about you that made him love you in the first place? He's a fickle creature and he should not be allowed to play with your emotions. I have a diverse family, we have men and women who have married people from various backgrounds and they are all happy because they are open minded, educated, well rounded, and intellectually compatible. Those people KNEW what they were getting into and that compromise would be necessary, as it is in all marriages. What makes marriages, where two people are from different backgrounds challenging, is not JUST religious differences. It's cultural differences too. A Pakistani and a Persian, Iraqui, or Egyptian Muslim would have trouble adjusting to each other too.. However, we can not simplify relationships into neat little packages. And, telling people to run from what may be potentially a beautifully fulfilling and happy life is simplistic. Marriage is a comittment that requires two concenting ADULTS, perhaps the problems are with the people who go into something prematurely and immaturely. Just some thoughts..

Wesleysgranny (173) 03 May 2007 06:15 PM

This is a little off the beaten path, but I spent some considerable time with a muslim family in Egypt. The men of the family were very hard workers, and the women worked equally as hard at home. They washed clothes in a tub of water, squeezed the water out by hand, hung the clothes to dry, and prayed it would not rain. I loved their way of life. They helped each other, and they take care of each other. If I have been 25 years younger, I may have married a man there. You have to work out the differences and respect each other's beliefs.

ASL (11) 14 May 2007 03:41 PM

In my opinion, no one, not even a Muslim woman, should marry a Muslim man. They are very charming when "courting," but most treat their wives in a demeaning, cruel manner. I don't think any woman deserves that. Women, run for your lives!

Valorie Delp (49340) 14 May 2007 04:00 PM

This is a horrible stereotype. I assume to make a comment like this, that you must've dated several Muslim men and then married them to discover that you were being horribly mistreated and then you left? Or surely, at the very least you've spent several years around Muslim families to see numerous wives horribly mistreated?

I have spent lots of time around Muslim families and while there are definitely cultural differences. . .I don't find what you are saying to be true. These are stereotypes that really hurt society.

elijahs-mum (11) 15 May 2007 03:52 PM

I have been married to a Muslim for just over three years and we have a four month old son who he adores. He asked if our son would be Muslim and I told him that our son could decide when he was old enough to understand. I am not Muslim and have no interest in converting as I am happy as I am - I don't drink, smoke, do drugs etc and it works out well because I don't like pork but will sometimes have ham if I am out of the house. Ali is not a strict Muslim but he accepts how I am - so yea it is awful to say all Muslim men are the same when the majority are not.

salaymeh (5) 11 Aug 2007 12:09 PM

I have a question,,,,,,,i have been married to a muslim for a year now,together for 4 years,we are having our first child (boy) in 5 weeks,is my child automatically a muslim? And i would like to be able to use my last name in the childs name somewhere,,,kind of as a 2nd middle name, is that allowed?

WordsAplenty (4029) 11 Aug 2007 01:13 PM

Salaymeh,

Congratulations on your baby! Although there are some cultural rules as far as middle names for babies, there are no actual Islamic rules. If you and your husband are in agreement about giving your son two middle names, go ahead! Islamically, the only rules on naming children are that the name should have a good meaning and not be a name of Allah. As for your child automatically being Muslim, that is usually a part of the marriage contract. When it comes to day-to-day life, though, I suppose only you and your husband can really decide! Best of luck to you. :)

luckygirl30 (5) 08 Oct 2007 08:57 AM

hi i am a non muslim but have a daughter to a muslim and for nearly 6 years she has lived a english way of life, her dad has only seen her bout 7/8 times in and it got in touch after a year an half bout 9 weeks ago and i agreed he could see her but he hasnt been back ince and hes says its because shes not muslim and he wants me to change her to muslim otherwise he cant come to see her as he finds it hard to watch her grow up english and do what english girls do drinking and going with boys etc, am so confused as i want him in her life does anyone have any advice for me thank you

Lake07306 (5) 09 Oct 2007 08:12 AM

Luckygirl30,

God bless you for seeking advice reguarding the welfare of your daughter. I can see why you would be confused by your ex-husbands(?) request for you to raise your daughter differently. You obviously know the importance for children the have the influence of their father in their lives and desire this opportunity for your daughter. However your daughter's father claims he would be more involved if she were only raised Muslim. Then why doesn't he spend more time with her and teach her things she needs to know? You are not Muslim; it is not fair of him to expect you to raise your daughter on values that you have little knowledge of. I think he is creating a circle to avoid responsibility: he'll only she his daughter is she is Muslim, so when she starts living like one, he'll come back. But he is the only Muslim force in this girl's life! Without him, there's a very small chance of her living and believing like a Muslim, even if you make an effort to "make" her muslim. It's like a child being born to a Spanish speaking father and English speaking mother. The father says "I'll see him when he can speak to me in Spanish" So wouldn't the best thing be for the father to teach him Spanish rather than place the responsibility on a mother who knows nothing on the subject? In Islam, weither you comit sin of adultery(pre-marital sex) and conception results, that child recieves no sin or blame from it's parents actions. However, it can only be Muslim if it is taught about Islam! And just because it was born to a non-Muslim mother, doesn't make the child any less of a responsibility to the Muslim father. It is his responsibility to raise that child as a Muslim. If the child was born out of wedlock or to non-muslim mother, it is a greater burden and challenge to raise the child muslim. But, thats the consequence and it is his religious duty to follow. I suggest you discuss this with your daughter's father. If he is really concerned about his daughter and willing to take responsibility he will see the error in his thinking. If he doesn't, then, I am sorry to say, your daughter will suffer from not having her father.However, In Islam, self sacrifice for the benefit of others is one of the hardest and noblest things that can be done. Thus, if you educate yourself first about Islam and teach your daughter this way of life, her father has no excuse for not visiting. But, maybe this is the way God intended it for you. Maybe by learning Islam first for the sake of your daughter, you discover something along the way yourself.

smason84 (5) 09 Dec 2007 10:16 PM

ok i've been dating a muslim man for about three months now. we get along great. i've been married before and so has he to a non-muslim i'm actually now friends with his ex. they had a great marriage just grew apart. his parents dont know about me for fear of isolation again. i don't want that to happen. he isn't strict about practicing he will drink occasionally and other things but i know eventually they want him to marry he wants to be able to chose who he wants but to make his parents happy. i wish there was a way to aleve their fears of any marriage or children not going the way they want if that's what my boyfriend and i want. i know its early in the relationship to think about and he said he wants to see where we go we care about one another deeply and i see it in his eyes.

tara1968 (5) 13 Jan 2008 08:58 AM

i have a question im very new to all this im engaged to be married to a turkish guy who i love very much if he doesnt get his visa i am going over to turkey so we can get married he isnt a pracising muslim and im not a practising christian (im english) by the way question is do i have to become muslim to marry him in turkey

susannahmccue (6) 04 Feb 2008 04:12 PM

hi i was in a relactionship wit a muslim man for 4 years and i hav just had he baby . i hav just found out he has had another baby with a buddist girl. im just wondering if i should carry on the muslim religon for my daugther to hav or should i just let her decide for herself when she is old enough. he no longer has any thing do do with her . that is his choice not mine i would like him in her life but he has chose not to as she is 4 weeks old and he has only seen he 5 times his to babys are only 10 days apart . i hav also just found out that he is still married to his wife in his home town in england .any suggestions . im not a muslim so i can not teach my daugther about the religon as i dont kno the religon myself

mitch0722 (5) 08 Apr 2008 01:36 AM

Hello...i have a Muslim friend for two years now and he recently propose marriage...i accepted it because i love him too...i am a filipina...he's a loving and caring man though we only talk through messenger, email and phone... he ask me to visit him in pakistan together with my mom so we can see the environment there...his parent were both dead and she live only with her sister right now.

I am reading articles about muslim culture which made me so confuse and frightened...

He's out of town as of this moment working hard. i will ask him all about the story and experiences of non-muslim woman who married a muslim that i have read...

Please giveme some advice regarding this matter

poppy123 (26) 09 Apr 2008 04:56 AM

Hi, for the last 6 months i have been dating a muslim boy. I am zoroastrian and he is Pakistani muslim. I love him so very much, but when he approached his mother about the idea of him possibly marrying a non-muslim girl, the mother did not approve. It is for this reason we had to break up. Is there any way in convincing the mother that it is ok for us to get married. My religion does not allow me to pass my religion onto my children and it is for this reason any children we would have would be muslim. because my love for him is so strong, i would do anything to be with him. I have even suggested that I learn and practice Islam.

He brought light into my life during such dark times and yes it has only been 6 months but those past months have been the best of my life.

out of respect for his mother he has said we cannot be together and I know this decision was very hard for him. the reason i am writing on this article is that i need advice on how i could get him to convince his mother that marrying a non-muslim would not be so bad. does anyone have any suggestions?

Sad_angel (5) 30 Apr 2008 10:13 AM

Dear poppy123 First of all forgive me my bad english but i think it isnt the most important now. I had pakistani boyfriend too, he was great man and also helped me many times but...it came to point similiar to your problem - mother.We are both muslims but i was married before and have child. Belive me i couldnt understand it, accept it etc but my boyfriend told me one time " I as single person means nothing..name of my family really matters, i have younger syblings they arent married yet and everything wrong what i do or could do will make their life very difficult as people having sharps tongues and can kill you with gossip...if i reject my family they will reject me and literally it means social death for me i dont want that one day somebody will humiliate my wife and kids." I dont know how you will judge those words...some people say - coward, others - immature man who cant take responsibility and sissy boy who affraid his mother . I still asking myself why? But with time came thought that our love has more than body, soul and mind...it has family where belongs to, culture and many not written customs and rules. sometimes its better to wait till all this "fizzy" feelings go and assess situation again. I recommend one book "Woman in Islam"..it helps find many answers and probably gives you an idea about daily life and rules. check please could you really say that you can fit in?

lost_girl (5) 10 Jul 2008 05:35 AM

Hello I NEED HELP i have relationship with a saudi arabian boy ,,,he is a muslim and me christian...how can we be together when we live in different countries ?!He is worry about that if we marry we will have big problemS ,because i need to go to live in saudi arabia,and there the life is very different as the life i here in Europe live and as a non muslim girl there i won't have much chances :(..i want to be with this boy coz i love him so much but we dont know what to do ,,i dont want to convert to Isliam ,,,its not possible and to be a Muslim only coz of his family and his country there is not much scense i think ! Can someone give me any advices i would be happy to hear some oppinions!I feel so unhappy really :(((( tahnks a lot!

corker18 strewail (30) 12 Jul 2008 01:40 PM

Dear lost girl,

I went to the middle east last year. I went there without knowing what to expect. I didn't know if I was going to be stared at or what? It turned out to be the best experience I've ever had. The culture is a lot different, of course. I can't speak for Saudi Arabia. If you decide to go to Saudi Arabia to be with ur bf, then you should discuss your religious preferances with him. My husband and I got married in front of a Sheikh. I did say things in Arabic. I did it for my husband and myself because I personally believe that marriage under the same God is possible in any religion. About the clothing, I wore western style clothing. I didn't wear a hijab or niqab. If I understand correctly, women must wear a niqab(face veil) in Saudi Arabia. I don't know if this will help your decision. It's just something to think about. Also, I don't personally know your bf, but there are chances that if you have children, they will be raised as Muslims. For my husband and me, we decided that we will let our kids choose when they are older. We just want God to be a part of their lives. I think if you appreciate the culture of Saudi Arabia, then you will not have too many problems there. Family values vary. Coming from my experience in a relaxed family home, I loved the culture and I wish I could be there instead of the USA. Talk to your bf about religion and if he expects you to convert or not. I suggest taking a trip there for a month or 2 to get a taste of what your life would be like there. Even if you don't speak Arabic, you should be able to feel the moods of his family. I think that life inside the home is much different than in the public of Saudi Arabia. Watch how his family reacts with one another. Arabic speakers tend to talk with their hands lol. I hope you know what I mean. Every word will get some kind of a gesture. Just listen to the tones of voices and if they laugh a lot and stuff like that. It's a big decision to make. I wish the best for you and your bf. Give it a chance there. It might not be as bad as you may have heard on other comments. As I said, I have never been to Saudi Arabia and I don't know your bf or his family. I'm just giving ideas and suggestions. I hope it helped.

hisbabylove (40) 26 Jul 2008 04:28 PM

I have been dating a Pakistani Muslim man for several months. This week I discovered he was married. His marriage was prearranged and over the telephone to a woman in Pakistan. He is a citizen of the US. He was married the week before we met. He has said that he loves me, he doesn't love her. He didn't tell me because he never expected to fall in love with me when we met. He thought we could be together until his life of imprisonment in a system he cannot change started. Is this how these things really work? Can he not be with me if he wants? She is still in Pakistan awaiting her visa. What happens if his family finds out about me? Do I need to be looking over my shoulder? Thanks for any information you can give me.

PKmuslim (10) 11 Aug 2008 02:07 PM

dear sister hisbabylove

that man is certainly not a baby that he was forced to marry someone without his consent. if he is sane then he must have given a thought to it. what do u think?

nothing is going to happen if his family finds about u, he is definitely free to choose whatever he wants. if he really loves u and considers his wife a burden, then he can divorce her - which is an extremely simple procedure. why is he hanging her without any fault and assuring u or his love?

as a woman, would u like that an innocent woman gets divorced because of u? and are u sure u would like to marry a man who does that?and why he cant do that with u in future?

apparently, he was just passing time with u and now he is acting cowardly!

Allah knows best!

all the best! PS: i'm also a Pakistani Muslim

michelleb41 (5) 15 Sep 2008 10:57 AM

I'm an American Christian woman and have been married to a Lebanese muslim man for a year and a half. When he moved to this country on a K-1 visa, he didn't tell his friends or family it was for marriage. I didn't agree with this and told him it would be better to tell the truth. I thought he was just embarrased and a little immature and hadn't had much experience at bringing girls home to his mother let alone marriage and thought he would get ovet it. We've had to work through other smaller issues and come through fine in the last year. My family accepts him 100% and he feels totally free to visit with them even if I'm not there. He still refuses to introduce me formally or informally to anyone on his side, friend or family. I don't like being treated invisibly and sub-human. Is this something customarily Muslim or just his personl decision? Does he just want to get the US papers (he does not have Permenant Residence yet) and run and then not worry about explaining anything to his friends or family? Should I introduce myself to them?

muslimandproudtobe1 (5) 20 Sep 2008 04:16 AM

Hi Michelleb41, to answer your question, no your husband's behaviour is not something customarily Muslim, I think it is just him. He should be introduding you to all his family, especially parents - as his wife, you should be treated with respect and there should be no secrets. Sadly I think you already feel something is wrong. Possibly he is mis-representing himself either to you or to his family or both. I do not want to speculate further, as you need to talk to him upfront and ask him to be honest. I guess if that fails you could call his family. Best wishes and take care and Allah knows best

momchaloune (30) 25 Oct 2008 10:43 AM

Please help. I convert to Islam about 3 years ago. I do practice Ramamdan, donations, every thing. I am married to Morrocan Muslim man who I love. He is upset that I do not pray the same way as the prophet. Let me expain. I am American and I grew up Christian. I convert to Islam. I can only speak english. So when I pray; I pray in English, and the pray my mother taught me. I tryed to pray the prophet way, but I did not understand what I was saying.I also felt very weird. I think it is important to know what I am saying. I have a strong relationship with Allah, I do not think I should be punished for not praying the same way. I can not help where I was born. My husband is worried that he is doing something wrong in Allahs eyes by me not praying the same way.

SoRoswelian (5) 05 Nov 2008 10:45 PM

I am engaged to a Muslim man and although, I have not converted, I do research a lot of the customs and he has taught me a lot about his beliefs, and I have read the Koran. I find it all amazing and beautiful, but I don't neccesarily want to convert. He has no problem with this at all seeing as he has lived in America all his life, and only practices his faith with his parents. But his parents are very against our relationship, and are pressuring him to break up with me. Does anyone have advice on how I can try to get his parents to understand our love and relationship and smooth things over?

lawbreaker982 (146) 06 Nov 2008 12:19 AM

You know SoRoswelian, I will tell you based on what I had experienced having a Muslim boyfriend. Though we were not engaged but the fact is that he is very religious and committed to his family. We discussed openly about about his family who is against of Non Muslim woman. It came to the point that he needed to chooce between me and his family. It was really a nightmare when he told me that he can leave behind his family. Whatever makes them he will do that even if it takes pain from his side. He was not ready to quit our relationship but I made up my mind to stop it. It was a painful decision but I had to do that. The more it hurts me when he was asking me to be his good friend forever. Imagine your boyfriend becomes only your friend. I honestly told him, not now. I need to find myself first. I am sharing you this not to discourage you but think it many times. There are many relationships prospered but there are also gone out of nowhere. If you are sure that he will fight your relationship, well and good. Prepare yourself all the time because everything happens that you least expect it. You amazed their religion but for how long? This was also the question that my ex-boyfriend asked me. Even if you are ready to convert but remember it's not only a matter of conversion. Their religion is the pillar of their life. In short, religion is their life. And you don't need to convince his parents to understand you relationship. Leave it with your fiancee to do that.

michele24 (5) 19 Nov 2008 04:01 AM

I have been with a muslim man for 3yrs now i have 2 children form a previous relationship that adore him,recently he has asked me to move to kurdistan with him wich is a massive decision,he has made it clear that its all or nothing if i do not want to go thats the end of our relationship which i do not want as i love him dearly but there seems to be no room for a bit of give and take,so i told him yes i would go i no it was the wrong thing to do and was not fair on him but now it is really playin on my mind i can not sleep at night i really do not no what to do! its just the all or nothing attitude gets to me and the fact that it will mean seeing my family once a yr if that i really do not no what to do if there is anyone with any adive i would appreciate it so very very much.

lawbreaker982 (146) 22 Nov 2008 05:11 AM

God gave us the WILL to decide what's right from wrong. I am not saying to use your mind/will only for you to decide properly. You need to use both - your heart and your mind. Don't let one dominate to one another. Knowing that you have kids from your former man, I think it would better you consider your kids before making any decision. You may list down all the advantages and disadvantages so that you can think better. Do consider all the factors around you. Sit down and think of it deeply. Bear in mind that time lost can never be back. Think and decide wisely. No one else can decide for you except yourself. I hope I am able to lighten you up in my little way.

mjsa (10) 06 Feb 2009 06:47 PM

hi, im new in here and ive just signed up on this site a moment ago. Im really searchin the net now coz im really confused with my relationship now to my muslim boyfriend, and im so glad ive found this site..im 24, a christian and a filipina, and ive got a son with my previous husband whose a christian also but we seperated already and now i have a boyfriend whose from pakistan and a muslim and same with my age. Hes quite devoted to his religion and views in life and me too im quite devoted as a christian, my family raised me in a christian way. Im not saying im really really devoted, just the normal one. He told me religion is not an issue between us, and that i can still go to church anytime and he can go to mosque, but if ever we will be havin kids it will be automatically become muslim but if i dont want our kids to become muslim it would be better for us not to have one and we will just consider my son as our own. My boyfriend is askin me already to marry him. I know i love him no doubt on that and i know he loves me too. He told me im his first girlfriend, i told him everything about me and he accepted me for what i am. He told me his family is against our relationship, and they want him to marry a muslim girl whose from their own community. He told me he cant coz he loves me a lot and he cant live without me and that he cant be far away from me. He asked me if i want him to marry another girl just for the sake of his family and divorce that woman after that, i told him i cant be with him thinking he got another woman aside from me and he married that woman before me. He left pakistan and hes in UAE now, he told me he left pakistan for a while just to run away from that situation. He left his own company and accepted a job which offered to him by a famous company in UAE. I do belive him and i trust him whatever he says, but sometimes i dont understand myself why i feel scared and having a doubt sometimes with our situation. I sometimes think he married that girl before leaving pakistan. And now he told me hes on training and we dont have any communication for 2weeks already coz phone and net are not allowed in the training base..please help me, i need your advice, should i trust him really? My other friends and relatives are telling me that muslim are different and that they want their wives to follow whatever they want, and that theyre only good in the beggining but soon u can see their true behavior, im sorry for that i just want to tell everything coz im really confused now, and Im sorry i dont know anything about muslim guys how they handle relationship. I dont want to be in pain again, ilove him alot. Is it possible that he will follow his familys will than his own will of marrying me soon? Please help me..

RareRen (5) 22 Jun 2009 11:41 AM

Hi, I don't know if anyone still answers on here, but I really need help. I have (or possibly had, we haven't talked yet) a muslim bf from egypt and he is like the sweetest person ever. We were having a great time the other night until I started talking about my parents. I casually mentioned that my parents weren't married when they had me, thinking that he understood that it was extremely common in america which is where I am from. Once I mentioned it, there was a very quick drawback from him. He was sweet about it, however, when I asked him if that changes what he thinks about me and if he might not want to be with me because of it, he answered yes. Then he started talking about how bad his children would feel if they knew and stuff like that. He really hurt me by saying things like this and now I don't know if we'll continue the relationship which really sucks because I know we both truly love each other. When we first met, neither of us had any intention on ending up together. It just happened and everything was great.

The problems that I'm having with comprehending all of this is that 1. If he's going to marry an american girl, chances are it would be the same thing, 2. It really doesn't seem like THAT big of a deal so why is he letting this come between us especially if he loves me as much as he says he does, 3. I feel like he's punishing me for my parents mistake, 4.Who says we even have to tell our kids about it. They will only feel bad about it if we tell them that they should, 5. I know I already said it but it really isn't THAT big of deal.....why is he making it into one? I'm a virgin and I plan on staying that way until I get married. I'm not having kids out of wedlock....shouldn't that be enough for him? I seriously feel like I'm being punished for something that was 100% not my fault. I love him so much, but should I let him go?

booktalker (5) 28 Jun 2009 06:17 AM

Hi Rareren

If you read these messages you will see that there isn't a one-answer-fits-all solution. Muslims, like people of other faiths, tend to interpret religious requirements to suit their own situations. You should also be aware of the huge differences between religion and culture and not get them confused. If your b/f's family is traditional and religious, you will probably find it hard to be accepted, especially as westerners / unbelievers are seen by many as a corrupting influence. Love won't necessarily overcome difficulties in an Islamic / non-Islamic relationship. I suggest you talk, talk, talk and both be very clear about your expectations in the long term. Read up all you can about his religion and culture. Be prepared. Bear in mind that soemtimes, differences are too great. But good luck

Ak_tj (5) 28 Jul 2009 03:06 AM

Hi

I am a muslim and my wife is christian. I got a job in saudi. Can i bring my wife there? i know she can't perform hajj but is there any other issues?

Regards Ak

sajid1975 (5) 16 Sep 2009 08:55 AM

To all that are interested, I am a Muslim man married to a wife of Christian origin, the author of this blog has made an accurate assessment of Muslim men and their behavior swings. When we get older or get married and have kids, we do tend to strengthen our cultural and religious heritage. This isn't the case before settling so be wary of changing behaviors, for non Muslims it maybe too much to tolerate but Islam is a peaceful existence without the drama of a non Muslim social life. It takes time and understanding from both side to make it work, but when decision time reflect child upbringing, watch out....another issue is the family, most Muslim's are intolerant to non-Muslim wives so this will be a huge issue, isolation will occur and depression will set in on both sides, especially if you are close to your family. It's a huge deal so think it through before you make the jump into this diversified relationship.